


I'm tired

by ReaperWitch



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Family Issues, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Kanon Matsubara, Trans Misaki Okusawa, misaki is a gay disaster, no seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26597005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReaperWitch/pseuds/ReaperWitch
Summary: Hello Happy World! decides to go to the beach. Misaki is not in the mood.
Relationships: Matsubara Kanon/Okusawa Misaki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46
Collections: Transdori Week 2020





	I'm tired

Of course Kokoro decided to spend the day at the beach. Of course everyone agreed with her, even Kanon. Of course she had to spend two hours in the train with the Three Dummies causing a ruckus. And of course she had to explain for fifteen minutes to them why she didn't want to get into the water.

At least she didn't have to wear the Michelle suit. 

Misaki was sitting under the umbrella, wearing a dark shirt and grey shorts. Even though she was in the shade, she had her cap on. The Three Dummies and Kanon were at the water, happily playing and splashing. She saw Kokoro get on Kaoru's shoulders, and Kanon on Hagumi's (reluctantly, as her panicked expression told Misaki), and then fight to see who fell into the water first. The second team won, as Kaoru quickly lost her balance and they fell shoulders first into the sea. But they were having fun, Misaki could see that.

She was a bit jealous. Just a bit.

But today was not a good day for her. She wasn't in the mood to play at all. She spent until late at night mixing one of their new songs, and she could only sleep for three hours. Her parents argued with her _again_ in the morning about her appearance and clothes, and she had to hide her swimsuit in the bag. Then she almost lost the train because she misread the time they arranged to meet. And, to round up everything, she had to apologize to the train security people because of the noise Kokoro, Hagumi and Kaoru were making. If you add your dysphoria acting stupid again, then your day becomes a really bad one.

She just hoped it wouldn't get any worse.

She then saw Kanon getting out of the water and walking towards her. Misaki found herself unable to look away. She was astonishingly beautiful. Her wavy, bright blue hair fell on her shoulders like the tentacles of a jellyfish (Misaki knew she would love that compliment). The drops of water shone on her skin, reflecting the light of the sun. Her swimsuit, a frilly blue and purple two-piece, made all her features even more adorable and girly. When Kanon noticed she was looking at her, she smiled and waved. Misaki hoped she didn't notice she was looking at her in a weird way.

"How are you doing, Misaki-chan?", Kanon asked when she got next to her.

"I'm fine. I just don't like the heat too much."

That was true, but not the entire reason she didn't want to step into the water. She still had the swimsuit inside her bag, but she didn't have the guts to put it on at the moment.

She wondered how Kanon could wear such cute clothes when she was the same as her. She had her own issues about coming out to others, like her, but she didn't mind putting on such girly clothes and make-up. Sometimes, on rare occasions, Misaki envied her, but that feeling was quickly replaced by guilt. It wasn't Kanon's fault that she wasn't as comfortable as her with those details.

"Aren't you going to continue playing with those three?", Misaki asked.

"Nah, I'm a bit tired. They have a lot of energy". Kanon took a seat next to her. Their legs touched for a split second, and Misaki could feel her cold, soft skin. "And I didn't want you to feel left out.

The younger girl blinked. "I don't feel left out at all! Really, I just want to relax for a bit."

Kanon's head tilted to the side.

"Are you... okay? You've been awfully quiet since this morning", the blue-haired girl said.

Misaki sighed.

"Well, I'm… not having the best of days, go be honest. It's one thing after the other, and when it all stacks to the brim, one day… this happens."

Kanon adopted a worried expression. "Do you want to talk about it, or…?"

"It's fine… it's the same as always. My family, the Three Dummies… my identity". Misaki took a deep breath, realizing that she was, one again, explaining all her troubles to Kanon. Even though the older girl told her she didn't mind at all, she couldn't help but feel bad about it.

"My parents _supposedly_ support me, but I'm constantly arguing with them because of stupid details like 'your hair is too long' or 'you look like a girl in those clothes'. I'm trying to feel brave and not guilty when I do something it's considered 'womanly' at the eyes of society, and when I don't do it I feel "like a man". It sucks, and it makes me uncomfortable about who I am. If it weren't for that, and the other things, I'd probably be in the water without a care in the world."

Misaki sighed, feeling… better, actually. Holy shit, she needed that. She held back a lot of other things, but that was refreshing.

After seconds of silence that felt like hours, Kanon reached her hand to hold it. Misaki looked at her friend, her crush, and saw a lot of things in her eyes. Worry, pain, empathy, understanding… Misaki knew she went through that just like her, and she still did. Society wasn't as acceptable or understanding as they would like. People like them were different, a threat to "normality". Even if Kanon didn't show it, she had her own issues, just like her.

"It's okay, Misaki-chan. I know how harrowing it can be sometimes. Concepts like gender are bound by strict rules, by I believe we can slowly break them with time and effort. Adults can be… hard to convince or make them understand, but I'm sure one day your parents will accept you for who you are", Kanon's hand squeezed hers.

Misaki shrugged. "I hope so. How did you manage to do it?"

The older girl bowed down her head. "I didn't have any friends when I realized that I wanted to be a girl. But then I met Chisato, the band and… you", Kanon made a pause, and Misaki could swear she saw a hint of embarrassment in her voice when she said that last part. "And my family supports me too, even if they don't fully understand me. I know I'm not alone, and that is what gives me strength, I guess."

Kanon lets out an embarrassed laugh.

Misaki can't help it, and she giggles with her. Every second she spends with Kanon is a blessing. 

"Kokoro was right, after all."

"About what?"

"You're the bravest one in Hello Happy World."

Kanon's face turned red like a tomato, contrasting with the color of her hair, and she let out a quiet "fueeeh". Misaki giggled at her reaction.

"It's true. Without your support, I'd have left the group ages ago, and you're always helping me when things get difficult. And, well…", she looked away, embarrassed, "you always make me smile, I guess…"

If Misaki turned around, she would see Kanon's bright red face. But she felt Kanon’s hand squeezing her own. She looked at the beach, where the Three Dummies were doing a human totem, with Kaoru at the bottom and Hagumi at the top. Misaki knew how badly that was going to end.

The younger girl let out a loud yawn. Looks like the coffee she drank in the morning didn't help at all. The heat was making her sleepier than usual.

"Are you sleepy, Misaki-chan?", Kanon asked.

"Yeah, I went to sleep late last night. I had to finish some music, and before I knew it, it was 3AM."

Kanon looked really surprised. "That's not good, Misaki-chan! You have to get a good night's rest!"

"I know, but sometimes it's really difficult to sleep. Better work than staying up playing games on my phone."

Kanon frowned. "Even so…".

"Don't worry about me, Kanon-san. I'm used to it. I'll grab a coffee after we have lunch and I'll be good as new."

But Kanon wasn't going to buy that, of course. She had the ability to see through her.

"Hmmm… then, Misaki-chan, if you would… If you want to, I mean…"

Misaki tilted her head. "Yes?"

"You can… hmm, rest on my lap…"

Alarms. All Misaki could hear were panic alarms inside her head. 

"I-it's fine, Kanon-san! I'm not that tired, really! And I don't want to be a bother to you."

"I don't mind at all! And you really need to rest, at least for a while. I… don't want to see you hurting yourself like that."

Fuck. Misaki was about to enter gay combustion when she looked down at Kanon's thighs. Knowing she was getting beet red, she lowered her cap to cover her face.

"W-well, if you insist… but only for a bit."

The older girl smiled, and adopted a more comfortable position to let Misaki lay down on her lap. Misaki closed her eyes, trying not to think too much about it. She was going to rest on her friend's (crush) lap, that's all. Nothing else. Girl friends do that, right? 

Surrendering to Kanon's puppy eyes, Misaki laid down, resting her head on her legs. They were smooth and squishy… they felt really nice, actually.

"How is it?", she asked.

"It's… very comfy…", Misaki answered. _I love this, I don't want to move from here, I want to live here._

"I'm glad! Now, close your eyes and relax…"

Misaki doubted she could relax in that situation. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it was going to burst out of her chest, and when Kanon started to stroke her hair she thought she was going to faint for overheating.

Surprisingly, sleep quickly came to reclaim her, but she didn't fight it. The softness of Kanon's thighs, and the smell of the sea were soothing her soul. As she slowly drifted off to the realm of dreams, Kanon's hands movements became slower and softer, until she fell completely asleep. 

"Sweet dreams, Misaki-chan", Kanon whispered. "I hope they are as happy as they can be."

**Author's Note:**

> Second fic of this week! This took longer than the first, but I think it turned out better. Misaki is so gay for Kanon, give them more canon content!


End file.
